Maternity Lingerie…

Warning ~ Some people might be bothered by the topic. 🙂

Intimates. Lingerie. Underwear. When we look these up online in department stores we normally get a wide range of cute and frilly to very steamy and of course the bizarre. This all changes when one puts the word ‘maternity’ in front of any of these words and looks them up in the same department stores. Target does have a better selection than most… if theirs were in stock. The sexiest thing one will find is the nursing bra.

The most bizarre is the duel pump nursing bra*. The 2nd most bizarre are the belly band. These are used as either a support bra for one’s large belly* or to help one hide the fact that one just had a baby.

What it looks like on the website model…

What it looks like on someone who just had a baby…

When one wants sexy underwear the best most places have to offer is…

This or…

This… These granny bad boys are sure to turn any man’s head on Valentine’s Day!!!

I guess the department stores have decided that once pregnant no one is doing anything because it’s icky-gross when she’s got a big belly and something moving around in her tummy. And two, ‘No one wants to see that, now cover it up… now cover it up again… Now if it doesn’t stay covered we might get out the maternity moo-moo dresses*. Thank you.”

Note ~ I’ve found at least one department store that doesn’t even list maternity underwear by any name. It’s like hide and seek trying to find it. I really think that they want to pretend that there is just another outfit under the one we pregos are wearing.

Note Note ~ Some stores do sale maternity lingerie online, but most of them are on smaller websites. Heck, last I looked Amazon won’t even touch cute maternity lingerie… You know, that’s someone’s mom!!! She can’t dress hot!!!

*Not drawn here

I stand corrected. Amazon does carry some lingerie that is not for grandma. I could not find any the time before when I looked, but it’s been about 2 years since I looked there last. I have checked JC Penney, Wal*mart, Target, and a few other department stores just this last week, and some today, and granny is the best we’ve got from them. Target’s good stuff is out of stock, if I remember right, it’s ALWAYS out of stock.

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Q: Where did I go for two months? A: The bathroom…

One of the other reasons I’ve been out most of November and December.

When will this morning night sickness ever end? The doctor did say that it’s often an indicator that everything is going well.

As a lot of my readers know it took Richard and me 6 years to have our baby so this was an ENORMOUS shock, but we’re very happy all the same.

IF everything goes as planned…

In June I should have the fat feet that are bigger than the belly (and surprisingly I STILL cannot see them). The girls will paint my toes all kinds of crazy colors… hey, I can’t see them! My right arm (with the pinched nerve) gets way worse, but it’s worth it.  My hair losses its body because there is now more of it. I have ever pink cheeks… I really do glow when I’m pregnant. I’ll be a few sizes bigger than last time. And a very full belly, bladder, and heart… One that’s full of baby, one squished with pee in it, and one with love that just keeps growing as my family does.

In July I should have a little smaller belly, but full arms. The feet shrink almost overnight along with the pinched nerve that gets 100 times better. The hair starts to slowly fall out, so it gets some body back… as I start getting mine back. The pink cheeks and glow go from me to the little bundle of joy. The weight stays… oh the weight loves to stay, it even invites some friends over to my butt and hips. With the belly flatter and the bladder able to hold more, the heart has a little more room to grow even BIGGER as I see the baby open their eyes for the first time and water runs out of mine. Yes, I cry every time I see them open their lovely eyes. Silly, I know.

If the baby isn’t shy in a few weeks I’ll let everyone one know if we’re having our first boy or if we are going to get to be cheap and keep it pink. Either way I’m happy. The 12 year old wants another girl, almost demands it. The 15 year old is thinking blue — all the time. Hubby and I would like to just have a healthy little one… cute would be nice too. 🙂

I’ve had two ultrasounds already (I’ve been told that the baby looks great) and I passed all my 35 and over tests with flying colors. YAY!!!

I hope everyone is getting to share good news and happy times with their loved ones. I’m glad I could share this with you.

FYI ~ Most fertility books DO NOT tell the reader that ‘you are most fertile after you have a baby.’ This is something we learned on our own. 😉