Even being a stay home mom I work with clowns…

I was sitting down minding my own business editing when I was needed to run to the store really fast to grab a few things for dinner. I left all my editing stuff out (although I did take my phone with me).  Leaving it all out might have been a mistake.

This is how it looked when I left…

One computer has all my writing (I don’t have internet on it), one has a dictionary/ thesaurus open, and one is just for research. I know I could have windows open for the research and thesaurus, but I didn’t want too. Also I had my phone next to me because I always get phone calls and texts when I’m writing or editing — not because of Facebook or Twitter or anything. I’d never waste time there. 😛 The binder is one of my beta’s with their notes and such, and the list on the binder is my “said list.”

When I returned home from my store run I found this…

Ok, one of these is broken, one is my oldest daughter’s, one is my husband’s, and then they put their cell phones on the high chair… *deep sigh*

Yep, I can’t get away from clowns in my work place. I guess I should be glad that they didn’t mess with anything important.

Note ~ My “said list” is a list of about 100-200 ways to say “said” so I don’t always say “she said” or “he said.” It reminds me to add the extra emotion and use words like words for example “she cried” or “he chuckled.” When I first write the story I usually write it so fast I just over kill the word “said.”

Frankenstein’s Dinner…

There have been times, more than once, where I am asked my least favorite question in the world and had to come up with an answer, an answer that I had to make up.

Every mom (or dad) has a panic solution for when this question catches them off guard. Some order pizza, others play it cool and act like take-out was their plan all along, not me… I go into full freak-out- and-cook-now mood. I forage the fridge looking for a ‘green’, I hunt the cupboards in hope to find a wheat, I search the remains of the kitchen looking for the protein and iron food (normally a meat), and then pray a dairy will pop up along the way. That is when I make, what we refer to as, Frankenstein’s Dinner.

Just like the monster he created, Frank’s dinner is whatever we I could dig up all stitched together in one bizarre and freakish meal. Unlike Frank’s monster I do try to make sure this dinner is healthy and won’t chuck small children in the river.

Bon appétit

Note ~ (Frankenstein Spoiler) On the topic of Frankenstein, I know the book and movie are different, in the book he saves the little girl and in the movie he kills her. I need to read it again… it’s been so long.

Pregnant Women and Toddlers…

Now for some fun! Warning there is a little potty humor here today…

The other day I was at a friend’s house, we were drinking hot chocolate and letting the little ones play. Her two year old son (who is being potty trained) vanished for a few minutes. He reappeared cheering for himself and without pants. He wanted us all to go and view what he had just done. Yes, us ALL. I was not left out just because I was a guest. I’m sure you guessed it — he pooped in the potty! YAY!!!

My friend was a little embarrassed, but I understood and I let her know that the other day I announced (without the show and with pants on) to my family my bathroom accomplishments. She laughed and we went on to joke about how pregnant women and toddlers have a lot in common… a lot.

Before I was pregnant I would have never told even the closest of friend that I was constipated; now I chat with a few others due in July about how pregnancy has clogged us up, and I’ve never even met these people in person. We try to help each other with ideas from drinking hot cocoa to safe poo softeners to going out in the woods and eating twigs and berries. (The last one is a joke, don’t try it!)

This all left me with an idea of making a little bit of a blog series ~ The Similarities of Toddlers and Pregnant Women. So here is the first one…Note ~ This series won’t be every day or consecutively all the time, just when I get the chance to share a new one.

Note note ~ Being with child really does slow you down in every way.

Note note note ~ I might change the series name… I’m only good at naming kids and characters — not labels, titles, and such.

Q: Where did I go for two months? A: The bathroom…

One of the other reasons I’ve been out most of November and December.

When will this morning night sickness ever end? The doctor did say that it’s often an indicator that everything is going well.

As a lot of my readers know it took Richard and me 6 years to have our baby so this was an ENORMOUS shock, but we’re very happy all the same.

IF everything goes as planned…

In June I should have the fat feet that are bigger than the belly (and surprisingly I STILL cannot see them). The girls will paint my toes all kinds of crazy colors… hey, I can’t see them! My right arm (with the pinched nerve) gets way worse, but it’s worth it.  My hair losses its body because there is now more of it. I have ever pink cheeks… I really do glow when I’m pregnant. I’ll be a few sizes bigger than last time. And a very full belly, bladder, and heart… One that’s full of baby, one squished with pee in it, and one with love that just keeps growing as my family does.

In July I should have a little smaller belly, but full arms. The feet shrink almost overnight along with the pinched nerve that gets 100 times better. The hair starts to slowly fall out, so it gets some body back… as I start getting mine back. The pink cheeks and glow go from me to the little bundle of joy. The weight stays… oh the weight loves to stay, it even invites some friends over to my butt and hips. With the belly flatter and the bladder able to hold more, the heart has a little more room to grow even BIGGER as I see the baby open their eyes for the first time and water runs out of mine. Yes, I cry every time I see them open their lovely eyes. Silly, I know.

If the baby isn’t shy in a few weeks I’ll let everyone one know if we’re having our first boy or if we are going to get to be cheap and keep it pink. Either way I’m happy. The 12 year old wants another girl, almost demands it. The 15 year old is thinking blue — all the time. Hubby and I would like to just have a healthy little one… cute would be nice too. 🙂

I’ve had two ultrasounds already (I’ve been told that the baby looks great) and I passed all my 35 and over tests with flying colors. YAY!!!

I hope everyone is getting to share good news and happy times with their loved ones. I’m glad I could share this with you.

FYI ~ Most fertility books DO NOT tell the reader that ‘you are most fertile after you have a baby.’ This is something we learned on our own. 😉

Shopping…

My oldest and I went to Target not that long ago. It was an interesting experience for both of us, but mainly her.

First stop MOM BRAS! Yes, mom needed a bra or two… My 15 year old didn’t handle this well at all.

At first I was escorted away from this area of the store while being told by my 15 year old child that, “You have enough bras at home. You don’t need any more.” She REALLY honestly said this to me. While shopping for other things I offered to take off my bra and show her how ratty and tattered it was. She didn’t like that idea very much and finally allowed me to pick one out (maybe two) if she could wait two rows over in socks. And I had to agree hide them under everything so no one would see them. Oh yes, and we were not allowed to talk about ‘them’ the rest of the shopping trip.

Next we were off to pick out a few shirts for my husband.

My daughter wanted to die for a brief moment when she witnessed an orange grizzly-man with his pants half on (or half off — depending on if you’re an optimist or not) trying on shirts in the middle of the t-shirt row. She told me after the ordeal was over that she expected that in Wal*Mart but not Target. LOL!!!

A few other things happened. We took a few pictures down the toy isles of gift ideas for her sisters. We even grabbed a few stocking stuffers, like lip gloss, and nail polish (although 95-97% of the stocking stuffers my hubby bought this year… alone – that’s a whole other blog post.)

After it was all done and we were in line getting ready to check out I was poked in the shoulder… Ouch!

The guy stepped back a little and apologized… plus…

I was polite and I did try to use my hand with my rings a little more when I was checking out. But he just kept flirting. It was so obvious that the casher gave me a few funny glances.  You know the type? The ‘girl-friend eye talk’ kind of glances — the ones that are screaming, “He is SOOOOOO hitting on you!!!” LOL! Anyway my daughter wanted to curl up and die. At least that’s what she said on the way out to the car. She also made a note that “Mr. Mom-Flirter” saw my new bras. And on the topic of bras — she was not pleased with my new bras either. She told me I could keep the white one but the black lace one HAD to go back. 😀

I hope anyone out there shopping with their teen/s had a little better luck than we did. But hey, it gave me something to blog about.

15 years ago today…

Warning ~ there are real pictures of my premature daughter here. She was very sick at birth and I was told that she probably wasn’t going to live past 3 days old.  She had a blood transfusion at 2 days, her first blanket was a little plastic tarp, and many other things happened that I’m just glad we are done with.

Sometimes you don’t want to hear that there is a need to stay in the hospital.

This little baby has taught me how to be brave. I watched her at 7 as she walked away from me to have eye surgery. After the event she cried tears of blood for 3 days. But she did it and she was sweet and kind about the ordeal.  She is one of the strongest and most understanding people, even as a baby (all but that nasty bit of colic).

My 15 year old girl loves pandas. Since she was 6 (and has never shifted) she said that she wants to be a vet. She is the most kind and caring teenager I have ever met. From as early as I can remember she has favored the color orange, but over the last few years she’s picked red as her new fav. She LOVES to text her friends. She has two besties. One is her best-best friend and the other is her best friend. She gets along with near everyone. She has mastered the almost smile that teens love to give.  Her long blond hair has never been cut (but bang) and goes down to her knees. She has a little cow-lick in the front that makes her hair poof there. She loves veggies and has her whole life. When she was two she used to ask for “baby trees” (broccoli) with every meal. She’s a very strong reader.  She calls herself a ‘grass picker’ when it comes to sports and she hates math.

The picture she picked out of the pandas I drew. 😀

Note ~ People ask all the time why she was born early and treat me like it was my fault. I’m allergic to most antibiotics. I had a nasty bladder infection that turned into a kidney infection. Being pregnant they couldn’t give me just anything and there was only one that I could take while I was pregnant. The doctors stopped labor from happening so many times… they just couldn’t that last time.

One of the best things about cold weather…

I love it when it’s cooler. There are many reasons and I’m debating making a list and blogging about it, but one of the reasons is below…

The other morning I poured myself a nice hot cup of coffee. It was wonderful. I didn’t break a sweet or anything and having a nice warm drink in my hands felt gooooooooood. I started to sit down next to my daughters when I was stopped.I’m so going as a werewolf weremama this year!

Note ~ When I showed this to my 14 (almost 15) year old she laughed in that ‘I want to hide in my closet for a month’ laugh. She was also shocked, as well as slightly grossed out, that I blogged about my lovely hairy legs.

Note Note ~ I HATE shaving my legs! I cut, nick, slice, slash, gash, and maim myself about 1,000 times every other shower in the summer.